You’ve made all the right moves, been cool and taken your game to new heights. The girl is so turned on she’s forgotten her own name and you’re in control of your emotions; now it’s time for the main event.
Everything we talked about in part 3: the true importance of foreplay, is every bit as true and important for the main event as it is in the coming attractions. Remember to keep your cool and pay attention to what you’re doing, and how she’s reacting.
Few girls will actually tell you what’s going on, so you’re going to have to get your cues from her body language. Pay attention so you know where you’re at and how you’re doing. While foreplay was all about building anticipation and longing, sex is all about bringing it all together with a strong finish.
There’s a reason orgasms are referred to as a climax, everything you do is constantly building to that point. If you want to be the best lay she’s ever had you need to shatter her world, leaving her in a messy heap of ecstasy. In the end, sex all comes down to one word: control.
You’re controlling her emotions. A female orgasm is almost entirely mental. A girl can go from the very brink to nothing in the blink of an eye, unlike a guy who has a hard point of no return (see part 4: How to Last Longer). Once there, nothing can stop him from reaching the finish.
Part 4 taught you how to control your emotions. The best lay she’s ever had isn’t a guy who busts before she’s even close. Obviously you can’t time it right every time, but as a professional it’s your job to be as consistent as possible.
While theory is all great, it’s time to lay down the tips and tricks I’ve picked up over the years. Here is every scrap of advice I have on how to truly become the best lay she’s ever had.
Always Give your Best Performance
No matter where you are, or who you’re with, always give your best possible performance. Firstly, even if you took a dive, any girl willing to let you throw it in her deserves at least the best you have to offer.
Not only is it a matter of respect, but all girls talk. And when girls get together and talk (just like guys) they often talk about sex. The girl you sleep with will likely tell all of her friends everything there is to know about what went down.
If you put on a poor showing it’s guaranteed you’ll never have a shot at getting with any of her friends. If you rock this girl’s world, her friends are possibly the easiest girls you could get with. There is nothing more valuable than having a girl they trust vouching for you.
Stay in Control
In addition to staying in control of your emotions, retain control of everything going on. When you want to change positions, throw her around. You’re on a bed surrounded by pillows; you can throw the girl around without her getting hurt in the least.
Staying in control allows you to do what you want, the way you want it. As we learned in part 4, this can be crucial when you’re trying to keep yourself from reaching your point of no return.
You’re the man, so be a man. If she’s in bed with you, she wants to get everything you can give: So bring it.
Mix it up – Use all the Tools you Have
Regardless of how positive the response to something you do, the longer you do the same thing, the less effect it has.
You need to be constantly mixing it up out there. You want the girl to have no idea what you’re going to do next, if she can’t anticipate you, she’ll be constantly surprised which will increase the impact of what you’re doing.
Lots of guys get so focused what they’re doing with their cock, they completely forget to use their other tools. You probably have two hands lips, teeth, tongue and mouth. Use them all in any way you see fit, but be sure to mix it up.
If you don’t know what this girl likes take the shotgun approach. Just throw everything at her and see what sticks. If you’re continually mixing it up you’re bound to find some of her buttons, just remember what they are and how to press them. Eventually you’ll weed out the duds and have a full repertoire of moves to throw into the mix.
Degradation and Humiliation
I know I’m going to catch some flak for this one, but I’ve vowed to put out the best guide to sex I can, and I believe this to be a crucial part of that:
Girls are sluts
Even the girls who are enraged by this comment, and will adamantly disagree, are sluts. The key is that girls are only sluts when they choose to be. It doesn’t mean they are promiscuous, it just means they have the ability (if not the need) to enjoy sex at a primal level. It’s not a bad thing, it’s just basic nature. I’m not just making this up either, if you want to learn more about things such as why girls are sluts, and why the majority of relationships fail (or have cheating going on) pick up the book: Sex at Dawn.
Once you can understand that even most reserved, proper, woman can be a slut in a time of her choosing, it’s much easier to accept that a big part of sex, and then enjoyment we get out of it, comes from degradation and humiliation. It’s the wrongness, the contrast, which makes it so exciting. It’s up to you to figure out just how far to go with this. Some girls (the girls who think they’re anything but a slut) will be on the very light end of this, while the girls openly in the S&M scene will be on the other side of the scale.
Through all your evaluation and foreplay you should have a decent idea of where this girl sits, but it’s your job to be continually assessing, testing and evaluating as you go. Being the best lay she’s ever had involves pushing her kinks to the limits, but be warned: going too far will often leave you dead in the water.
Start small and work your way up, begin with spanking, biting, hair pulling, dirty talk and back scratching.
There is really no correct way to enjoy kink and sex. There are some things that are clearly wrong, but as long as you are being safe, consensual, and everyone involved is happy and pleased, you are doing just fine. After all, you’re both there to have fun. You’re aiming to be the best lay she’s ever had, that rarely includes leaving scars (emotional or physical).
You’re not as Strong as you think
I’m going to go out on a limb and say: you’re weaker, and she’s stronger, than you think. It’s almost impossible to spank an ass with a hand too hard. There is nothing to break or damage in an ass, it’s a huge cushion of fat: you can slap it as hard as you physically can without almost any risk of real damage.
The same thing goes for hair pulling. While it is possible to pull hair too hard, you would have to be jerking or trying to hurt someone to do it. If you grab a fistful of hair from the scruff of the neck, and pull it slowly and consistently, you can pull it just about as hard as you like.
In fact a girl with healthy hair and head can hang/swing by her hair alone (I saw it at a circus once as a kid). As long as you’re not jerking, or being a jerk, you don’t have to worry much about hurting her. In fact, pain is the whole point of pulling hair; you just want to ensure the level of pain is enough to amplify her pleasure, rather than taking her away from it.
You can never know just how hard you can go by guessing. Always start soft and slowly, gradually increase until you’re at a strength you’re clearly both comfortable with. It’s better to shoot too low than too high.
The Silent Killer (How to Talk Dirty)
Ask any girl and you’ll get the same answer: a guy who is completely silent while screwing is a complete turnoff. Many guys are silent while screwing around for two reasons:
- They’ve trained themselves to be silent after years of covertly tugging it.
- They’re afraid of looking/sounding foolish.
Since sex is mostly mental, you need to be working as many senses as you can at once. Firstly, man up, and stop worrying about sounding foolish. If you’ve trained all noise out of yourself, you’re just going to have to act. Even grunts and “ohh yeah’s” are better than nothing. You’re not reciting poetry; you’re just filling the silence.
Another tip for filling the silence is to talk dirty. If you don’t know what to say I have a really simple tip for you: just tell her what you’re thinking, what you’re enjoying and what you want her to do. That way you never have to be creative, just honest:
“God you look sexy with my cock in your mouth”
“I love how fucking wet you are”
“Sit on me; I want to see just how good of a whore you really are”
As you can see we’re not being creative at all here, but you’re easily being filthy enough to qualify as a dirty talker. If you really can’t think of anything to say, feel free to recite the lines above verbatim. You’ll be surprised at the wonders dirty talking can do for a session.
A Strong Finish
The single most important moment of a session is your finish. This is the moment where the girl gets to shift completely away from her own pleasure, and enjoy the pleasure she brought to you.
You should be extremely thankful and gracious this girl let you defile her, so you should give her the honor of showing her just how pleased you really are. She’s not telepathic, and saying “that was amazing” will never have as much of an effect as letting her see just how amazing it was for you.
How you show this will depend on your own style, and just how freaky this girl is. Be sure to make some sort of noise or if you’re the silent type go with a classic “OHHHH, fuck!” Just say it enthusiastically enough to sell it.
I typically advise to pull out and cum on her. Not only is it fun and hot, it helps ensure you don’t have any accidents. While pulling out is NEVER to be considered valid birth control (use condoms!), it’s always better than not; condoms break.
Where you cum will again depend on your style and what the girl likes. If you’re not sure how she’s going to like it you might want to stay away from blasting her in the face. Then again, you might not.
That’s about it. If you follow all of the advice in these five articles you’re going to be well on the way to becoming the best lay the girl has ever had. Just remember that not everyone is sexually compatible, and sometimes it takes time (and a few sessions) to get to know someone.
As long as you always put on your best show, and you follow these tips, chances are you’ll always get another shot to step up your game.
If you have any questions, or run into any sticking points, drop a comment below.
More from the Be the Best Lay She’s Ever Had Series:
- Part 1: Acceptance
- Part 2: Making your Move
- Part 3: The True Importance of Foreplay
- Part 4: How to Last Longer in Bed
- Part 5: Sex Tips for Men