Men spend more time thinking about sex than anything else in life. Everything we do, think and say is in an effort to have it or have more of it; it’s the one thing which defines us all as men.
Strangely though, men never really talk about sex. We talk about women, what we have done and want to do with them, but we never really talk about the actual act of sex. Sure you’ll regale your buddies with stories of conquests, often including the finer details of the most prolific moments, but when it comes to issues, strategy and advice men are typically tight lipped.
The problem is this: every man wants to put forth the image of having the golden cock. We all want to believe that no girl has ever had what we can bring, and we’re ashamed of coming up even a touch short.
This first article is dedicated to the most important part of being good at sex: self-acceptance. After that we’ll move into everything from getting her from your couch to your bed, to waking the neighbors. But before we can run…
Accept who you are
Before you can ever expect to be good in bed you need to accept who you truly are. You are who you are, and that’s never going to change. If you’re not calm, comfortable and confident than you’re not in control. No one has ever rocked a girl’s world by closing their eyes and hoping for the best.
You know who you are, you’ve always known, now you need to come to terms with it. Almost none of us are who we wish we were; that’s life. It’s time to stop wishing and start accepting. If you can’t answer all the questions below confidently and honestly you need to have a serious conversation with yourself.
- Are you kinky or vanilla?
- Are you submissive or dominant?
- Are you reserved or a freak?
- Do you have any fetishes?
- What really turns you on?
- What really turns you off?
- What are your deal-breakers?
- What qualities make the perfect girl?
- Most importantly: what do you want to get out of sex?
Not everyone wants the same thing, some people just want to get off while others just want to get others off. Some people want to put on a show while others just want to be close to someone. Figure out who you are and what you want, if you don’t know that, you’re just counting on dumb luck.
Stop Worrying about your Dick
While this is still about accepting who you are, it’s important enough to deserve its own section. You need to stop worrying about the shape and size of your dick. Big, small, bent, fat, skinny… it is what it is, nothing will change that. Accept who you are, and learn to use what you got.
If you’re unfortunate enough to have a truly tiny cock, you’re just going to have to work harder to make up for it. Have less pity, get more pussy.
Stop Worrying about your Body
It’s a clear fallacy only women have body image issues. Just because men pretend like we don’t care, doesn’t mean it’s true.
Just like your dick, your body is the only body you will ever have. Aside from how you decorate it the only thing you can do is choose is how fit you are and how you carry yourself. If you want to lose weight the only person stopping you is yourself. Aside from that, you’re stuck with what you got. Get over it already.
If you’re bald, embrace it. Drop the comb-over, shave the horseshoe and be bald. If you have a massive scar across your face, then you have a massive scar across your face. No matter what your flaws, or how severe, you can’t expect other people to accept you if you won’t first accept yourself.
Judging from the trailer I’m pretty sure I’m describing the plot of the movie Beastly right now, as stupid as that movie looked the message is dead on: love yourself. Don’t hide your flaws; they’re just as much of a part of you as your strengths. While some so-called flaws will make it more difficult to pick up girls, once you have one willing to “take a tour of your bedroom”, you can safely assume she’s OK with (or into) whoever and whatever you are.
So stop worrying, drop your guard and dive in with both feet.
Haters Gonna Hate
There are a lot of assholes and bitches out there in this world. Firstly you need to know that the vast majority of the jerks in the world are also the most insecure. They don’t like who they are, so they’ll feel better if they know you don’t like who you are. At least that way they fit in.
Don’t let these fools drag you down with their crap. No matter who, how good looking or successful you are you’re going to come across people who just want to cut you down. Don’t let it get to you and don’t let it ruin the self-confidence you have.
If a girl you bring home makes fun of you (not as a flirtation), tell her to grow the fuck up and kick the hoe to the curb. You don’t need to put up with that crap. Once you’ve accepted who you are, you don’t need to listen to, or put up with, the haters.
This is your world; it is what you make it. So why not make it the best damn place you can?
In part 2 we’ll start at the beginning (and for many guys the hardest part): making your move.
More from the Be the Best Lay She’s Ever Had Series:
- Part 1: Acceptance
- Part 2: Making your Move
- Part 3: The True Importance of Foreplay
- Part 4: How to Last Longer in Bed
- Part 5: Sex Tips for Men