To be a great Dom and have a strong, healthy, relationship it’s imperative to make honesty the focal point of every interaction you have.
The most common reason most relationships, vanilla and kink alike, fail is a lack of honesty. Just about every single movie or TV show with relationship drama could have been completely avoided if the couple had just been honest from outset. Unfortunately it seems the “only as honest as I need to be” mentality is seen as the standard.
If you want to be a great Dom, you need to make honesty your number one priority. Continue reading “How to Be a Dom: The Honest Approach” »
No matter what your interests, hobbies, professions, or proclivities; your goal should be to come as close to mastery as possible, in the time provided.
We have all heard the expression that it takes 10,000 hours of practice to master a single skill. The actual number is irrelevant, the point is: mastering anything takes a significant amount of work. As is typically the case in life, we don’t often have the ability to dedicate nearly three years of our waking life to a single task.
You’re going to need to find some shortcuts. Continue reading “How to Master any Skill” »
Every year Jim Murray puts out a new edition of his “Whisky Bible”, and every year I end up having to explain to someone why Jim Murray’s Whisky Bible can’t be trusted.
Jim Murray is famous for two things: drinking whiskey, and writing about drinking whiskey. Every year he puts out a book talking about what whiskey he drank, and how he liked all of it. The first thing I need to state, and I want to be very clear, is that Murray is an expert on whiskey. He knows what he is talking about, and he certainly knows more about whiskey than I, or any of my readers do. So should you buy his book? Probably. Should you trust his list of the best whiskeys? Probably not. Continue reading “Why You Can’t Trust Jim Murray’s Whisky Bible” »
One of the most common topics dominant men want to talk to me about are the rules for their submissive, more specifically what rules to create, what rules to avoid, and how to enforce them.
The entire concept of the D/s dynamic is a relationship built around a ruleset. Some of these rules are inherent to the dynamic, while the others are enforced as a reaction to it. It’s crucial to understand the goal of these rules to avoid making mistakes along the way.
I am a proponent of honest dynamics. What I mean by this is I, personally, am only interested in truly honest reactions and interactions with a sub. To push a sub’s limits, you need to have enough information to know exactly where her limits lie, and how you can push on them in a positive, beneficial manner. The more information you have, the more able you will be to accomplish this, and the greatest source of information from your sub will always be interactions, honest to the core.
Continue reading “How to be a Dom: Orders and Rules” »
A little while back I went back and removed a bunch of the earliest posts to this blog. They won’t be missed. Unfortunately, one article I wouldn’t have removed got caught up along with them. This morning I got a message from a man asking me if I had a copy of it, because he couldn’t find it anymore on my site. I dug it up, and was about to send it to him but decided to post it back here instead.
Every man will find himself in a quandary from time to time. When in doubt and in need of guidance you need ask yourself just one question: What Would John Wayne Do?
When I was just a boy I was having a very serious discussion with my father about a choice he had made when I tried to show I understood by throwing out the cliché “you should never take the easy way out”.
His response was some of the best advice I have received. “No” he said, “you should always take the best way out”. Continue reading “WWJWD: What Would John Wayne Do?” »
We live in a time where the majority of people on dates met their date online, and when it comes to online dating Tinder is one of the go-to apps for just about everyone.
Despite the minimal options and input required to use Tinder, the majority of profiles I’ve looked at are making one, or many, mistakes. This article focuses entirely on the pre-message stage: before you can try to close, you need to first make a connection. When it comes to making that first connection there are only a few factors you need to consider. Continue reading “How to be Successful on Tinder: Fixing Your Profile” »
Now that you have your space and everything you need, it comes down to actually running the game.
The first two articles in the series talked about the kind of space you need to host a game, and the things you need to do it well. I can’t stress it enough: playing poker without a good table, quality cards, and real chips isn’t fun or functional. While it’s a bit of an investment to get all of this gear up front, it’s crucial to the success of your game.
The only thing more crucial, is actually knowing how to run a game of poker. The first decision you have to make is what kind of format you are playing. Continue reading “How to Run a Proper Poker Homegame Part 3: What You Need to Know” »
Hosting a poker game requires you to own a bunch of supplies, some more important than the others.
In part one of this series we looked at the space you need, now we’re going to look at what you need to fill that space.
If you went through to buy everything on this list at once, your homegame is going to get very expensive in a hurry. Ideally you can spread the cost out among your friends, but regardless of how you do it there are some things you absolutely need if you want to run a homegame. Continue reading “How to Run a Proper Poker Homegame Part 2: What You Need” »
There’s much more to spreading a poker game than getting together some friends and a deck of cards, here’s the first in a three-part guide for everything you need to know.
This guide is divided into three articles: the setting, what you need, and what you need to know. All three of these elements are crucial to hosting a strong poker game. You don’t need to be perfect on all of them, but if you miss the mark on too many items the game is going to run into issues.
The success of your homegame greatly depends on the setting. You don’t need to be renting a floor at the Ritz, but you do need to have your bases covered. Continue reading “How to Run a Proper Poker Homegame Part 1: The Setting” »
Everyone knows nice guys finish last, but how can you start winning the girl without have to become something you’re not?
One of the biggest struggles I had when I was younger, and a common issue other men approach me with, is losing your bid to win the girl for being “too nice”. Instead of throwing your hands in the air and complaining how girls only like assholes, it’s time to start solving the problem, and giving the girls a reason to choose you instead.
The solution isn’t becoming something you’re not, being a nice guy is a great thing to be. The truth is that being nice was never your problem. Continue reading “For the “Nice” Guys: How to Finish First” »